Sun's rays emits hope

This phrase practically was on mind when I'm making flozel (double cheese pretzel). Nolah! I'm joking! Actually all flozel concept just come out unexpectedly lol. But surprisingly, it fits a story.

On the beginning of june, just when I finished my six semester on the famous turtorous college in Indonesia (read: ITB), I was diagnosed with cancer. Bam.

It was really a unexpected turn that really changes everything-on highlight: my point view of life. I was really dumbfounded when the doctor said: yes, you have a tumor and we do have to check what stadium are you in. Shoking. After all, i was expecting a simple disease but turns out a really harsh one.

But, luckily, when I do a double check on singapore, it turns out I didn't have cancer at all neither do tumor. It was a really big relieve but still, the changes in heart and mind still lingers. 

I continually finding things that I do: making cakes, blog, competition, even college didn't feel appealing as before. Idk if this a good thing or not but I guess I still up to find what God's really meant behind this over diagnose tragedy. 

So, to complete the most unexpected story in my life, flozel comes out.

 I usually don't plan any of my cakes. It just turns out unexpected good (LOL). The concept of this pretzel is double cheese: complete package. So to shines out the theme, i used the orange and yellow flower. 

Sun's rays!

Hello flower (poor you) 

I name this cake flozel because I ran out of idea HAHAHAHAH Trust me, i'm becoming more careless making cake's names and I feel it's okay(I'm too lazy to think of any). Flozel come out from flower and pretzel HAHAH.

dé flozel

I make this pretzel using chedar cheese and cheese filling(processed cheddar chese|the orange one) 

Flozel before baking

And the result really come out really nice!

Actually the most exicting part of this concept is the yellow and orange theme because it likes giving a sun's rays theme. Like y'all know sun's rays symbolizes hope(Idk or i just made this assumption) so yeah, perfect for me that been through over diagnose tragedy. 

So that's it! 

The post (maybe some kind of the last post) and I'm off to "what to do in life" meditation. 

Bye now!

Love

The things we'll hoped for 

Longed for

and need for.

If lucky, a redamancy is the thing you will be feeling of.

But if not? Maybe a vivacious feeling, if your heart is wide enough to let it go. 

These days, I have a thought over this subject.

Many movie framed being in love involve kissing, hugs, and countless of sweet words

But, lately I think the highest kind of love that can ever be found is when you don't have to receive anything to be feel loved but on the same time, you secretly in mind keep planning ways to make the person you love happy.

One of the person I really love is mom. Her fighting, loving, and funny spirit is always so contagious making my heart always smile.

She wasn't the most nice person actually and to be exact, she can be quite grumpy to many people. But, surprisingly, that what's makes her smile worth a thousand more. 

I'm quite surprise these days, my mom turn out to be really sweet and loving. She comes and hugs me constantly *but at most of the time I'm the one who hugs her more HAHA whining: mom do you love me?* And then not to forget the sweet prayer she always chant up at 4:00 a.m in the morning.

It's really sweet.

But, again for most of the time, mom just stay like mom used to be.

The question is, does my love for her cease?

Not at all.

On the contrary, I realize that I really love her. 

Even when she's angry with me. 

I think that's the kind of love I dreamt to have later too in life.

Not the one that continuous cuddles each other for the whole night but being supportive, in silent pray for each other well being. Even when being supportive means little time to meet, little sweet words and affection can be received, you still love them and know you're loved.

....

On 4 January 2017, I made some sweet sakuraze curry bread.

It's really good.

(Yeah of course right? A maker should always praise his own creation HAHA)

I name the curry bread "Aishiteru" which means love in Japanese to profound my feeling of love to the bread lol

And it's really add the japannese vibe right?

But, HAHA you should know how sinful I am actually to get this flower lol a.k.a stealing

First

An entice that makes a something more meaningful

First day of school

First boyfriend

First cake 

First

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A first give us something, usually something to be remembered.

At the beginning of 2018, I notice that everyone is excited to boast about how being first. First photo of the year, first selfie, first everything. Not that it was a negative, but it signs that we all love for having a first. 

I remember watching hidden figures, a movie that featuring three negro woman working on NASA. First is Katherine Goble, a mathematician, second is Mary Jackson, an engineer, and last, Dorothy Vaughan, the supervisor. 

This movie teach us a lot of valuable lesson that many of us miss today. One of the lesson that really  strike me was Mary Jackson's speech on the Virginia Government Court.

She dreamt for being an engineer, but one of the qualifications for her to be one is graduating from an education institution which is an all-white institution. And for that, she fight her right at the court by a speech of an importance of being the first.

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Courtlady: Mary Jackson: petition to attend courses at Hampton Institute

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So, which one is gonna make you the first?

Mary Jackson already prove as she become the first ever negro woman engineer and so the judge, being the first judge that warrant african american woman to attend an all-white institution.

We're born with so many conditions that we cannot change. Either that is our physical looks or our unhealthy social environment, unfortunate conditions, anything is not ours to decide alone but we have the power which is to be the first of being the champion to our own past since no one is ever given the same dilemma.

Our problem and boundaries can be the catalyst for us to show the potential of our power-to change something. It's up to us, whether we want to use it or not-whether to be stuck at the same situation we're born with or fight to be the first winner to our own kind of problem.

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Enough with the ramblings, on the first day of the first month of the first year that ever been given the name of 2018 *horay*

I made some apple strudel pie.

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It's a puff and apple sauce.

I named the cake De Fyrst because Fyrst in Icelandic means First and this cake was my first on 2018.

And the De? It's just a compliment to make the name perfs.

Amber is known for a name of a gemstone

It's has no correlations to the cake I named with but as far as I could think of cake's names, I randomly find Amber is perfect for the cake lol

Amber is basically a croquembouche or roque-en-bouche which is a French dessert consisting of chop pastry balls piled into a cone and bound with threads of caramel(angel hair).

Easy to spell but ain't easy to make :")

I have a lot sugar burns and towering tragedy.

Well, to be honest, the caramel is the hardest one.

Caramel recipe is actually really simple. You know, water, sugar, how hard it can get?

But, you don't know how frustrating sugar is.

Nucleation, crystallization, hardening, all the nuts really does happen.

Last time, in food physics class, I learn about sugar solution for weeks with a mind full of thoughts:nah sugar, why does all this people make like sugar solubility curve, or equation to calculate nucleation??

Now, I take it back LOL

During those 3 hours of frustration, I actually thinking to bring out the sugar solubility curve to calculate what is the sugar composition and cooking temperature i must have HAHAHAH

The irony really strikes right?

Not only that, sugar burns also really hurts, like really.

(Just Imagine that you have to touch a solution with 350F Temperature :"))

But despite all the struggling, I'm happy with the result (laf)

The result is really pretty. Full of flowers hehe

(but behind those beautiful flower, there's some brutal crime i done HAHA)

(maafkan saya bungabunga :") )

(The red flower)

Oh yeah, maybe a lot of you asking, why the heck the angel hair is so little? Almost unseen?

Well, to my surprise, the angel hair melt in Indonesian's air temperature:")

So that's it!

A little post after 6 moths hiatus. 

Bye all.

Sincerely, the last cake post of 2017

Back to the original purpose of this post

*horay*

This week, I have been given the privilege to make a very cute cake.

I'm so grateful with the results because the work and money wasted for this aint cheap.

(Mentally cries for the money part haha chinese will be forever one)

Now presenting to you:

*drumroll*

CANDY WONDERLAND

Isn't it pretty?




This Cake consist of :

Bisucullt

Raspberry Mousse

Strawberry Glaze

And last

Lots of candies *love*


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 *Super in love*



Not to forget, a candy wonderland cake wouldn't be complete without candy right?